They're 90% cabbage.

Not the sharpest tool in the box.

Always taking a break.

Does "half a" job. 

Only works when someone walks past.

Not very bright, and has to be carried.

Floats around all day and stinks like shit.

Always folds under pressure.

You can never find them

Always wants to go home.

Some days she's in, some days she isn't. ;-)

Disappears when things get hard.